Three Days
by Yorozuya Gin-san
Summary: After Master Hand recieved something in the mail, he pairs up a couple of people. Insanity. Ike and Pit fight like a married couple. Peach giggles. Samus is pessmistic. Crack.
1. Beginning

YAY FOR LONG AUTHOR NOTES:

:D I decided to post a Super Smash Brothers Brawl story for once!! I have too many crack ideas anyways. Before I start, this is a FOUR CHAPTER story (or so I hope. I don't really want to go that far. XD).

And YES, this story has pairings because I say so. Yaoi pairings are awesome, so deal with it. XD

The pairings are written. Like…in the story.

Note: For comical reasons, Sheik and Zelda will be separate people for now. I'll refer to Sheik as a male, and Zelda well…as a female, obviously.

* * *

**One: The Plan**

* * *

It was only three days. _Three days._ Not two, not four, but three.

What three days, you may ask?

The three days of total hell.

Yes, meaning when total hell breaks loose. Or heaven is no longer pleasant, or however you may put it. Three whole days, all forty-eight hours…don't know the minutes or seconds, which is somewhat pointless.

Anyway, in Smash Mansion/Hotel (no one ever knew which one it was, they just LIVE, okay?), innocent little Pit was just crossing the halls when someone totally horrible happened.

What was it? Well, he was just walking down the hall when he bumped into Marth, who happened to have a cup of coffee (the prince needs it), which made a small amount of said liquid to splash onto Pit's new, white robe/clothes.

Which was horrible, because it was hard to get coffee out of his clothes! And his clothes were white for crying out loud!! White!! Which means you could see it even more!!

But Pit, being Pit, didn't mind it and went to wash his clothes.

That was when the HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE part happened.

Master hand came in out of nowhere, which also made Pit jump at least ten feet (NOT using his wings), and tossed Ike at him. Now, we all know Ike is _way_ bigger than Pit, which…you know, sort of crushed Pit. Crushed him not in "aw, I'm smaller than Ike," more like "WAH!! I'M SQUISHED! I CAN'T BREATHE!!"

Yes, like that.

"Can someone _please_ tell me why I was taken away while I was watching Food Network?" Ike rubbed the back of his head.

"Food network…?" Fox, who was in the laundry room to wash his clothes, raised a brow.

"Yes, Kirby and Yoshi didn't let me change the channel. I had to deal with it." The blue haired man shrugged. "Besides reruns of…who knows what, there was nothing on anyway. But hey, at least I learned how to make a steak without burning it."

"Uh-huh…" Fox gave Ike a weird look and walked off with his laundry.

"Um, excuse me…Please get off of me…" The angel said weakly. "I think I just crushed my wings…"

"Oh…I thought you were some sort of seat…I apologize then."

Pit got up as soon as the other man stood. They both look at Master Hand, expecting an answer.

"Well, since I'm trying out this strange test someone sent me of how well people in Smash Mansion/Hotel get along, I decided you two would be my first victim—er…I mean, helpers." If a hand could smile, Master Hand would have had this sweet, innocent smile plastered somewhere on his face, which he also didn't have.

"Which is…?"

"I'm getting there, Ike. Calm down, geez, peoples these days…so impatient!" Grumbled the hand.

"I'm sorry…?"

The hand coughed. "Anyway, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted by _someone_, I want you two to hook up."

"…Are you trying to match make Pit and I together?" Yes, people, Ike looked very dangerous with that sword pointing at Master Hand _oh_ so menacingly.

Pit just blinked, being an angel, he rarely heard lame pick up lines or flirting, so he had no idea what's going on. Heck, everyone seems to agree that Pit doesn't even know the birds and bees. He probably didn't…Did he?

"No, no!!" Master Hand looked impatient. "Can't you at least let me finish? I mean, hook up and help me get through this!"

"Why didn't you ask Marth?"

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!!"

"…"

"Thank you." Master hand continued with his explanation. "Anyway, I want you two to NOT leave each other's side. And if you do, I'll make SURE you two don't leave."

"Even when I have to pee?"

Master hand sighed. "Pit can wait by the door, can't he?"

"I don't mind waiting." The angel pointed out. "But wouldn't he run away?" That question was just plain ignored. Maybe it was because the bathrooms had no windows…but then again, Ike can just bust through the walls, right?

"What if I have to bathe?" Questioned the blue haired man yet again.

"…Pit can sit on the toilet seat and wait for you, or something. Look, you think of the details. I just do this."

"Why only us though?" Pit asked.

Master Hand had a head/hand ache. He "sighed" and answered, "I'll make Marth do it too, if you really want to see him suffer through it."

"E-eh? Suffer? I don't want others suffering…" Pit could have sworn Ike muttered something like, "Let's _hope_ he suffers…" under his breath, but then again, he COULD be imagining it!

Somewhere, in an isolated room, a bored Prince sneezed on his book.

"Damn, I must be getting a cold…" Muttered the blue clad prince.

Anyway, back to the umm…laundry room.

"Okay, so…wear this thing." Master Hand magically tossed Ike and Pit a watch thing. The two stared at each other and shrugged. Well, Ike shrugged. Pit just put on the watch. It beeped loudly…and I mean, LOUDLY. Seriously, the whole laundry room echoed.

"What do these do?" Pit asked, looking at the weird thing. "Does it play games?"

"NO, they don't play games." Answered Master Hand. "It's just a thing to know if you two are together."

"Why does this _still_ sound like you're trying to pair me up with Pit?" Ike raised his brow suspiciously.

"…" The hand decided to ignore Ike and leave. Yes, leave. Poor Ike, his question went unanswered.

Thus starting the three days of total hell. Who knows what might happen??

* * *

A certain blue haired prince raised a brow, looking very amused. He took a sip of his coffee before laughing randomly, making most of the Smashers in the cafeteria look at him strangely. Then again, everyone knew the prince's sanity wasn't…exactly _sane_ when he first arrived in Smash Hotel/Mansion in the first place. Some just looked at each other and sighed, other just ignored it and went back to doing whatever they were doing.

On the other side of the table, another blue haired man sighed. "Marth, it's _not_ funny."

"Oh _yes_, it is." Marth answered, still laughing wildly like there's no tomorrow. "It's hilarious…(cough)…I can't breathe."

"Marth, you have a horrible sense of humor." Sheik (who randomly appeared out of nowhere) pointed out before he made his way to the group of girls in the corner.

Link nodded. Now when did _he_ get here? Well, he's been sitting at the table for some time now, it's just that…no one noticed him! Poor Link!

Pit chewed on his cookie. "Master Hand is going to pair you up with someone too, Marth!"

Marth spit out most of the liquid content in his mouth…that unfortunately went towards Pit's direction…again. There goes his white robes…again. Screw coffee. Maybe he'll ask Peach to help him wash it again…or start wearing black.

Anyway, back to the prince. "W-WHAT?! WHY ME?!" He practically screeched. The Smashers didn't bother staring, it was normal enough.

"We told him to." Ike answered, looking lazily at the empty jar of sugar on the table.

Pit shook his head. "_You_ told him to." He corrected, wiping off the table with his robes. Heck, he doesn't care if his robes get dirty anymore. Screw stains.

"You shouldn't use your robes to wipe the table." The blue haired man pointed out.

"I don't care anymore…" Pit muttered.

"Does anyone care that I'm going to suffer through hell?!" Marth could have rammed his head on the coffee stained table, but he didn't. He still had _some_ sanity left. He left the table twitching somewhat violently with his coffee cup.

Everyone at the table ignored the Prince and continued with their conversation.

"Come on, get a rag or something."

"No! I'm fine!"

Link watched in a somewhat amused way at the swordsman and the angel. Of course, he didn't make a sound, nor did he look like he was going to help sometime soon…

Meanwhile, in another table across the room, Peach, Zelda and Samus were chatting nonchalantly about the Smashers and Smash hotel/mansion. Well, they were…until Peach spotted Pit and Ike. She smiled, "Don't they look like a married couple?" The princess pointed to the angel who was wiping the table with his clothes and Ike trying to stop him.

"They do…?" Samus raised a brow and looked at the two males.

"Oh Samus, you just don't understand, do you?" Peach asked.

"I don't?" The blonde questioned the other two Princesses.

Peach sighed. "You're hopeless, Samus, absolutely hopeless!"

Samus just looked at Zelda for an answer, but the Princess of Hyrule remained silent.

"You know what I noticed? That Pit and Ike are walking around together a lot today…" The other princess pointed out.

"They're just probably agreeing to team up for the next brawl or something." Samus rolled her eyes.

"You're such a spoilsport, Samus!"

"…"

* * *

It was nighttime, the Smashers were getting ready for bed. Well, some were, while some others were doing whatever they were doing. Ike wanted to watch some medieval fighting show on TV, so Pit had to _unwillingly_ follow along. Though, it was better than thinking _how_ they were going to sleep.

Now, Master Hand was lurking (not really) around in the halls, trying to find Marth's room. It wasn't really that hard, it was the last room in the west wing of the mansion, but somehow, Master Hand got lost. In his own mansion as well, amazing wasn't it?

Anyhow, Marth was reading a book in his room, minding his own business. That is, until the window was rattling uncontrollably. The blue Prince closed his book and looked at the window suspiciously. Oh no! It was the reoccurring nightmare!! The world's about to end!

The window rattled, then opened by a hand. Now the prince was _really_ starting to get frightened…not that he would show it, that is. He's a man!

A boy (man?) with reddish brown hair stepped in his room. "Hey, Marth!" He greeted.

Marth twitched. It was a nightmare come true…Seriously. He wanted to run out the door screaming in terror, but he won't. There _should_ be a way out of this, right? Marth sure hoped so.

"Y-YOU….ROOM OUT GET YOU!!" The prince spluttered out _oh_ so sophisticatedly.

"…?"

Marth threw his book at the other man. "OUT!!"

Just a bit after the prince threw his book, Master Hand appeared out of nowhere, making Marth jump. "WHY IS EVERYONE ENTERING MY ROOM?!" He bellowed, twitching violently yet again.

Master Hand coughed (if hands could do that) and announced, "Well Marth…this is a surprise…I was going to match you up with Link or something but--"

"Wait…you want to match me up with Link?!" The swordsman interrupted.

"Er, yeah…"

"But you'd rather I pair up with ROY?!" Marth pointed to the guy standing by the window.

Master Hand thought for a moment. "Yeah sure…but didn't I fire Roy already?"

"…"

"Yeah, he's fired, pair me up with some _sane_ person."

"But how'd he…?"

"Window." Answered Roy accomplishedly.

Master Hand looked thoughtful yet again…that is, if hands could! "Interesting…Note to self: never let Marth live near windows." Then he announced, "Anyways, since Roy's here, you can be partners."

Marth twitched violently and looked as if he was about to explode any moment. "B-B-but…I-I-I….R-Roy…." He spluttered out randomly.

"I'm glad you see it my way." Master Hand threw those watches at Roy and Marth. "Three days."

"Of hell…" Twitched a really disturbed looking Marth.

"Sweet! Do these watches have games?" Roy asked excitedly while looking at the strange gadget on his wrist. "I like games."

The hand sighed. "Why do the idiots all say the same thing?" He muttered to himself. "No, Roy, they _don't_ play games. I'm sorry if you like games, but there are no games. It's just a tracking device."

"What are we? Animals?" Marth looked pissed off.

"The watch will tell me if you two are apart. Now, would you like to have a pleasant three days, or would you rather I make it a competition between you and other people?"

Marth grumbled something, but Roy answered, "COMPETITON!!" which made the blue prince head desk and wonder why god hates him.

"Okay then, I'll go inform team…er…Ike/Pit."

Roy burst out laughing. "HAHA, TEAM IKE/PIT. WHAT ARE WE? TEAM ROY/MARTH?"

"Only if you want to." If hands could shrug, Master Hand would be shrugging.

"…" Marth was starting to get a headache; a really _bad_ one. Maybe this was all a dream and Roy's not really there, and it was just something bad he ate today…

After a few explanations from Master Hand, and the occasional Roy laughing out randomly every second with Marth trying to commit suicide, everything went smoothly for the night.

Let's say, for Marth, it's going to be a long night. Especially when Roy's trying to get in his bed every three seconds (of course, the prince made the other boy sleep on the uncomfortable looking wooden chair, what'd you expect?).

* * *

Anyway, back to Ike and Pit. They had a strange situation of who's going to whose room. Pit insisted to use his room because there he didn't sleep with a roommate, so they won't bother anyone. Ike complained the room was too small so they should go to his room since it was bigger.

So, they had this "husband-wife" fight that night, until Lucario came by and told them to sleep on the couch or something. The pair looked strangely at the Pokemon, and briefly wondered why it would help them. They shrugged, and then had another fight of who's taking the couch.

Pit suggested that Ike should sleep on the couch because he said he was fine sleeping on the floor, but Ike countered, saying that it was apparently "bad for Pit's wings and he's a growing boy" so he should sleep on the couch.

Again that had a "husband-wife" fight, until Peach came by, giggling. She suggested that they _both_ sleep on the couch together. When she left, the pair looked strangely at each other. Ike coughed and Pit hid his face. If it was for embarrassment or another reason, we'll never know.

"U-uh…I'll sleep on this corner then…" Pit grabbed a pillow and set it on the small corner of the couch.

Ike coughed. "I'll sleep sitting up then."

They looked at each other again. If they were having problems _sleeping_, what would happen when one of them wanted to use the restroom, or wanted to change? Maybe someone will help them through this problem one day…

So, Pit made himself comfortable by curling up and folding his wings, sleeping on one corner. He suggested that Ike lie down to sleep, but the blue haired man shook his head and sat contently in one corner.

Anyhow, the two didn't get much sleep that night, and somehow Ike ended up using Pit as a pillow the next day…with the occasional Smashers looking at them. Except the younger ones like Ness, Lucas, Pikachu, and Kirby, everyone was somewhat amused. (Yes, Pokemon count!) The younger ones were just watching TV like the whole day was normal. Ike noticed Peach in a corner giggling almost madly to herself.

Ike learned to never, ever, and he means** EVER** trust Peach which these things again. **EVER.**

Pit never noticed, he was still sleeping like a fallen angel. (And how strangely ironic was _that_ sentence?)

* * *

Well, life was worse for Marth. Apparently, he woke up the following morning with Roy using him as a stuffed animal. How he got there, and when, Marth will never know. But Smash mansion/hotel shook from an _enormous _scream that morning. Everyone suspected Marth's room, but they didn't know what happened.

Marth prayed to god, wondering how he'll get through these three days of total hell.

God never answered back though.

Pit never woke up from Marth's girly scream either. Amazing.

Thus started day one, of our zany and somewhat illogical story…


	2. Day One

…I'm stupid.

48 Hours is two days. WTF.

Anyway, I'll change that later. Thanks Mommi…XD

ON WARD! TO DAY ONE!

* * *

**Day One**

* * *

Smash mansion was a slight bit unsteady that morning. One reason was from Marth's sudden screaming that morning (which was quiet early). The older Smashers (like Zelda and Peach) were already awake and ready to start the day. The younger ones (like Ness and Lucas) slept through it. The teens like Red (Pokemon Trainer) were abruptly awoken from the scream. They _weren't_ amused.

Pit and Ike woke up probably before the scream, and they were getting ready for the day. The angel wanted to take a shower, but then wondered about Ike. What'd the blue hair man do? Well…he just waited outside for half an hour, with absolutely nothing to do. Way to start off a morning, right? The same thing happened vice versa.

Peach was making breakfast. Of course, she didn't _have_ to, but she insisted to do it. No one complained though. The hired chefs Master Hand had didn't exactly make the _best_ tasting foods.

When the Princess of Mushroom Kingdom noticed the swordsman and the angel coming by, she smiled and handed them a giant plate of food.

Ike raised a brow. "What is this for…?" He asked suspiciously.

"It's breakfast, silly!" Peach answered, still with that innocent smile she was known for.

"I can see that…but why?"

"So you and Pit can eat, silly!" giggled Peach like it was the strangest thing to ask in the whole wide world.

Pit smiled. "Thank you, Princess!" He took the plate and proceeded to drag Ike to a table.

"Didn't that sound somewhat suspicious to you?" asked the mercenary.

"…No, why?" Pit asked, looking at Ike as if he was crazy or something.

"What if she added something in there?"

Pit laughed at Ike's absurd answer. "Of course not, silly! Why would she do that?"

Ike was left to ponder on that while Pit ate his share of the breakfast as well.

* * *

"Hey Marth, are you done yet?" Roy asked, knocking on the door for the seventh time that morning. "Did you drown in there?"

The water was running. "I'm taking a shower here!!" Replied a pissed off sounding Marth.

"For twenty minutes?" Yes, the red head _can_ tell time! Amazing, isn't it?

The water abruptly stopped. A few minutes later, the blue haired Prince appeared behind the door. "You talk too much." He grumbled to the red head.

"That's why they love me." Roy answered accomplishedly.

Marth was secretly rolling his eyes, but since he's a prince, he doesn't really roll his eyes in real life. Yes, the man had manners. He decided to eat breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Marth needed his breakfast, so he made his way to the Brawl Cafeteria. Yes, Roy followed along like a second shadow. The prince was _not_ happy.

Peach saw her next targets. As the red head and the prince walked down the hall, she stuffed the plates with all the food they could handle. "Here you go!" Peach said, in a singsong voice.

"…What the hell?" Marth was confused. Very confused.

"Eat, silly! It's food!" Peach said giggling. Boy was that creeping Roy out. And you could tell by his stare. He looked like his brain exploded inside his head. Marth had a similar stare, but it had more dignity. He blinked. He blinked again. And again.

Suddenly the food, along with its plate, went flying across the room, only to hit the green hat hero of Hyrule. Everyone turned to give the two boys and the girl a stare. Roy, being Roy, gave the group a wave and a nervous laugh. Marth stared at the Peach in horror as she started to cry.

"How...could you?" Peach choked out, sniffling as all the stares turned to Marth, angry.

"HOW COULD I?! IT MOVED. HOW THE HELL COULD I NOT," Marth shouted, causing Peach to cry even more. Oh God, he was gonna get it from Mario later.

"But! B-but! I only put a few potions in!" Peach choked out through her tears. At this, Ike and Pit stared at each other, spitting their food out.

"And now it's alive! Nice job!"

Link stared at what he was covered in, eyes wide as is started to move across his body and completely cover him. It was EATING him. The food was eating him. Oh the irony. Toon Link, trying to help, started pulling his older self's clothes off, trying to save himself. "ZELDAAAA. HELP," he screamed, still trying to save his older self.

"Stop bitching, Linkie," Zelda said as she stumbled over, with a coffee pot in her hand. She slammed the coffee down on the table, stumbling over to the older Link. She did Din's Fire, and watched it smolder. "What the?! What did you do Zelda," Toon Link shouted, confused.

"C-coffee…is good. Never had it before," Hyrule's princess said, stumbling then passing out on the floor.

Falcon, trying to lighten up the mood, pulled out a squirt gun and drenched the older Link. "THIS FUN! THIS FUN," he shouted at no one in particular. Toon Link watched as the crap that surrounded his older self slide to the floor.

"…How…?" Link said, staring at himself not covered in that stuff. He has started to pass out in there. Not to mention how itchy it was. He looked down, seeing the stuff known as Peach's cooking trying to make a getaway. He transformed into a wolf, downing the food and trying to ignore the fact it almost killed him.

"Holy…That's a sexy wolf…" Wolf commented, causing Falco and Fox to scoot away.

"Remind me again why we know him…" Fox grumbled to his bird friend.

Falco just sighed and moved to a different seat. Why_ did_ he know them?

After downing about three pounds of food, Link was officially full to burst. It tasted weird. Very weird. Suspiciously weird, almost. But heck, it was edible so, he ate it. At least he saved the world from Peach's destructive cooking. That's something to be proud of.

"See?! Link loved my cooking!" Cried a still sobbing Peach as she dabbed her watery eyes with her pink handkerchief with turnip prints on it.

Marth twitched. Not once, not twice, but _five_ times. Yes. Five. Count them!! "It just tried to _eat_ Link. You expect me to eat a thing that tried to EAT someone else?!" He demanded, still twitching violently. At times like this, he wished he switched places with Roy and _wasn't_ in Brawl.

"That was…kind of cool…" Roy laughed nervously.

"ZELDA!! ARE YOU DEAD?!" Toon Link cried, shaking the princess of Hyrule violently.

"Hic…pretty stars…" Murmured the woman.

"IF YOU'RE ALIVE, PLEASE SAY THAT TOON LINK IS THE BEST! AND HE'S ADORABLE." Toon Link shouted to her.

"No more coffee for me, mommy…" Zelda continued to mumble incoherent things.

Suddenly, Sheik walked by and picked up his alter ego. "I'll make sure she gets some rest…" he mumbled silently before disappearing with a POOF. Like a ninja!

"I _told_ you it was suspicious." Ike said, trying to wash his mouth with another cup of water.

"I thought she was being nice!" Pit answered loudly.

Peach sobbed dramatically and ran away. Oh the pain Marth's going to be in when Mario finds out…

Marth twitched. "I'm going to Delfino Plaza to get some _real_ food." He grumbled.

"You gotta treat me too." Sang Roy from behind him.

"Why should I?"

"We're supposed to stay together." Roy answered, grinning a toothy grin.

At this, Marth really started to wonder why he didn't just kill himself.

What of Link? Well, the potions were really starting to kill his poor little wolf brain, so he started to wag his tail like a puppy. Then he acted like Nintendog and started to jump on other Smasher's laps. Wolf was happy to know this "sexy wolf" has taken an interest in him. It was only the potions Peach put it, of course.

Of course, Nintendog was happy to have a buddy to play with. So, from that day on, Wolf Link became the Labrador's best friend.

No one really noticed that Samus had ran away from the compounds of Smash Mansion. Or Falcon was chasing after her, and so was Snake. No one also noticed Pikachu spraying graffiti all over the walls, or Ness and Lucas playing a game of go fish. They _certainly_ didn't notice Kirby eating up their food supply for the next three weeks.

Did anyone actually care? No one knew.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ike and Pit decided to sit in the conference room (with no one in there, of course) and stared at each other in the eyes.

What were they doing, you may ask? Well, they were wondering if Peach's potions would kill them or leave some kind of mutation on their faces. So, they sat there for twenty minutes straight, staring at each other, wondering when horrible things would start happening. After all, no one can really trust Peach when she's moody.

Ike broke the silence when he yawned. "Okay, this is pointless. If we became horrible, _ugly_ monsters from the potions, don't you think it would have happened already?" He was looking extremely bored and wanted to get out of the silent room.

Pit, on the other hand, looked as if he was going to get crushed by the room any moment now. "I think I'm starting to get claustrophobic…" He murmured, looking around the room, panicking.

"Okay, I'm getting myself OUT of here." The other man grumbled, pulling himself out of his seat as he made his way to the massive doors.

"I'm coming along as well." Pit practically jumped out of his seat and rushed to the doors. "Hey Ike, do you think Peach would try to feed us more weird stuff?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to follow what Marth is doing."

"Be stuck up and annoying?" Pit asked, wondering why Ike would do such a thing.

"Uh…no, more like go to Delfino Plaza and get some _real_ food."

"I'm coming with you!" The angel chirped.

"If you must."

They walked by a suspicious looking box. Yes, the small one that has little breathing holes on them like how Petco gives you cardboard hamster carriers when you first buy a hamster. The one that has "SHOW TIME!" imprinted in bright, bold, red letters on the sides.

Why was the box there? No one knew, but Bowser thought Luigi forgot to take out the trash, so he stepped on it. He heard a grunt but he thought he was just imagining it, so the King of Koopas decided to go back to do whatever he does everyday.

* * *

While the box was getting stepped on, trampled, and abused, the Altean Prince had made his way to Delfino. He searched high and low for a restaurant, and finally found one.

Only bad part about it is that they only sold pineapples.

Marth grumbled but since he was half starving, he had no choice. Also, he had that incessant blabbering fool follow him around, which made his already throbbing headache worst.

"Stupid Delfino," Grumbled the prince, "who in the right mind only serves pineapples for a main course?"

"These people." Answered Roy who was munching on a slab of the said fruit.

"They must be very deprived." Marth poked at his pineapple, almost thinking it would eat him up like how Peach's cooking ate Link earlier that morning. Today was certainly _not_ his day.

"It tastes good."

Marth sighed and looked at the red head. "I hate you."

"…Why…?"

"I thought you were fired."

Roy didn't seem very happy by that comment, but continued eating. "So what if I was?"

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" The Lowell prince shouted, making other random by-passers stare at the two as if they grew seven heads and have deformed body parts. "AND HOW'D YOU MANAGE TO CLIMB THROUGH MY WINDOW?!"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

Marth's headache was almost killing him by now. He rubbed his temples, and wondering _why_ he was here at this…_dump_. He briefly questioned his sanity too, but he knew that it wasn't him. It was the world.

"Are you going to eat that?" Roy pointed to Marth's slice of pineapple while spitting random food particles at the prince.

"One: Keep your mouth shut," The prince said. "Two: Yes, and three: I still hate you and you're giving me a headache."

Roy blinked. "How is three _my_ fault exactly?"

"Your existence is your fault," Marth silently grumbled. "And aren't you going to take my _breakfast_?" He really wondered if this is considered _breakfast_ or a morning snack. This would never fill him up.

"Oh yeah." Roy reached and grabbed the said fruit. Within moments he had swallowed the whole thing much like Kirby would have. Though the pink star warrior might have swallowed the table as well in three seconds.

"I need a menu." Marth grumbled yet again as he searched for the menu. After a few moments, he found the brightly yellow _pineapple_ shaped parchment and began reading through the lists.

"Pineapple juice, pineapple fried rice, pineapple appetizer…hmm…AHA! I found something that seems _remotely_ edible!" He ordered a burger, hoping it was made of real meat.

It wasn't though.

The waiter brought him a horrible yellowed colored _thing_ that's shaped like a burger. Yes, it even looked like it had a bun, patty, lettuce, and all the rest.

"Oh hey! Is that made from pineapple?" Roy poked at it and began to eat the burger. "Mmm…pineapple-y…"

Marth twitched violently as he stared at the red head down the _thing._ No, it couldn't even be CALLED a burger. It was an eye sore to the world. No, the universe!! Even Meta Knight would probably retch at such a thing!

"Is there _anything_ not related to pineapples here?" The Prince literally shrieked out. He's _very, very_ close to pulling out his precious blue hair in the process. Pineapples were EVERYWHERE.

As if Marth had said something truly horrific, every Delfino dweller that was in the restaurant stared at him with such intensity, that the Prince gulped. Perhaps saying such a thing wasn't exactly the _greatest_ idea…

"Oooh…you said it now." Roy mumbled before hiding under the table. "When you're done being beaten to death, tell me and I'll get out from the safety of the table." With that said, the boy hid himself with the bright orange and yellowed colored table clothes.

"OH GODS! THERE'S AT LEAST TWENTY PIECES OF GUM STUCK UNDER THIS TABLE!!" Roy shouted a few moments later. "DISGUSTING!!"

Marth chuckled nervously when everyone started to crowd his table. "Hehe…Um…so, how's the weather today…?" He asked, hoping that god would spare him.

Before the Altean prince could react, almost the whole restaurant (including the workers and boss) pounced on him.

"MAYBE WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS?! AHHH—" His screams were cut short as the Delfino dwellers…um…_mauled_ him. Roy was secretly praying under the table for his safety during the whole time; flinching when he heard Marth scream.

* * *

Things were going quite smoothly for Pit and Ike. Though they accidentally took the wrong route and ended up in Smashville, the town from Animal Crossing. The two had some food in the bar (though the pigeon freaked them out a bit since he was…you know, a walking pigeon; but isn't that what Fox and Falco are as well?).

At least they didn't get mauled like how Marth did. Actually, they found a gift box floating in the sky, that day! Pit shot it down with his arrows and they found some currency used in Smashville. Lucky day!

It was about six or so when the two got back to Smash Mansion. No body bothered to greet the two, since they were busy with another person.

Who? Marth, of course! Remember? He got mauled!

He had scratches and bruises all over him. If it weren't for his Falchion, he could have been pelted with MORE pineapples! Well, more luck was on his side that time since Mario came by and Delfino people almost _worshipped_ that plumber. Roy didn't do much but hide under the table.

"I am _never_ going to eat at that…that…_demented_ place ever again." The prince muttered angrily, wincing when Zelda tried to heal a cut. "They RUINED my face _and_ my hair. They don't deserve my business anymore! I'll make sure I won't ever buy anything there again!!"

"Even without your help, I'm sure they'll live just fine off of other's money." Samus said nonchalantly as she flipped a page through her book, _How to kill Space Pirates the Easy Way_.

"They'll never meet someone as beautiful as I am, though."

"I'm sure there are other _beautiful_ blue haired people in this world that can help them. Probably help them more than _you_ did, and less complaining as well." Samus sighed, reading yet another chapter of her 1,000 pages long book.

Marth grumbled something about Samus and in returned, received a punch in the arm.

Zelda sighed. "Well I didn't expect friendly townsfolk to just attack you. How did you end up getting hurt anyways?" She questioned, healing another face wound.

Mario, who didn't hear that morning's news from everyone, scratched the back of his head. "Well…when I saw him, he was screaming something about…pineapples."

"Well Marth?" Zelda had an amused smile on her face. "Care to elaborate on that?"

"_No._" The Emblem Prince had a scowl on his face.

"Simple, he complained about the food and ended up being mauled!" Roy answered.

Zelda looked extremely amused, but kept it to herself. "Oh? How so?"

Before Roy could speak up again, Marth covered his mouth. "_Don't._"

"Marth, please stop speaking in italics, it's really annoying." Samus said, looking quite bored, but not taking her eyes off the book.

"…"

"Much better."

"Can I talk about how you got mauled now?" Roy asked.

"No."

"Fine, I'll go grab some food Chief Kirby made then." Grumbled the Red head as he made his way to the kitchen.

Well, he was going to before something beeped loudly. Roy and Marth both jumped.

"Did you just feel that buzz?" Roy asked, jumping and searching his clothes for what might be the cause.

"Is it the stupid watch?" Marth twitched.

Roy peered at his watch. "Uh…Marth?"

"_What?_" (Samus was getting annoyed and complained about Marth's "italic" speaking.)

"Is the watch _supposed_ to be flashing red and looking as if it were going to explode any moment?"

"No, why?" Marth peered at his little…watch device.

Roy gulped. "Do you think we're going to die?"

"Nonsense," Zelda said, "Master Hand would never let his Smashers die. Roy, come over here."

Roy nodded, and walked over to Marth. Within moments the buzzing and beeping stopped. The watch returned to its normal _hideous_ pink color.

"It felt like someone trying to steal something in a store, and walked by the security things…" Mario stated, sitting back down. (He had jumped when he heard that noise. Well, almost everyone but Samus did. She's probably used to it.)

"How would you know _that_?" Zelda asked the plumber.

Mario squinted dramatically and said, "I know a lot of things, Princess." If they had a close up of his eyes, this might be mistaken for a drama show.

Zelda blinked and wondered _why_ Mario was acting so dramatic. Though, she didn't really care, now, did she? We may never know.

"Hey, where're Ike and Pit? I thought they walked by here a moment ago." Roy said, looking around to search for the mercenary and the angel.

"I think they went to bed." Fox answered, speaking for the first time in a while. He had been sitting on a nearby chair in the living room, polishing his guns and whatnot.

"…How do they sleep…?" Zelda raised a brow. She suddenly noticed she's been asking a lot of questions lately, but decided to ignore it.

Fox shrugged. "Something about different beds and the same room. I'm no genius, ask Snake. He's been snooping for a while."

Samus sighed. "Snake said something about his cardboard box. I don't really care."

"I'm going to bed." Grumbled Marth. "Roy, you can sleep anywhere you want. I don't care anymore…"

"Hmm…he lost all hope of surviving…" Zelda pointed out. "And it's only been day one!"

Everyone but Samus laughed a bit. Samus was just…um…boring, I guess. She went to bed earlier than the others because she said they're all idiots. She's _nice_, isn't she?

Well, we could say everyone had a great night. Besides the point Wolf barged into (Wolf) Link's room that night. The potions didn't wear off though, so…um…Link's practically screwed. It was a good thing Toon Link was his roommate or else he could have been…attacked that night.

Thus ended day one.

* * *

:D Credits to buddies who wrote 'dis!


	3. Day Two: Boxes

Chapter Three

Thanks for the reviews, yo!

* * *

**Day Two:** Boxes and a whole lot of other shit.

* * *

Link woke up to a peculiar morning. Of course, being _Link_, the Hero of Twilight, there aren't many things "peculiar" to him nowadays…but _this_ takes the cake.

Or should I say, _the bed._

The blond woke up that very morning face to…muzzle with Wolf. Yes. That WOLF.

Needless to say, he was _very_ surprised. Or, to put it in an easier way, he screamed.

He screamed quite loudly, actually. Link woke up the whole Smash Mansion, like yesterday, when Marth screamed.

Sad. Smash Mansion seems…scarier nowadays.

The blond ran to the corner of his room and huddled there, in a ball. Toon Link had already woken up, and was somehow _tied_ on one piece of rope handing on the ceiling. He was gagged, and kicking his tiny legs as if there was no tomorrow for him. The smaller version of the Hero was dangling on the rope dangerously, trying the best he could to break what held him to the ceiling. Muffled screams were heard coming from his gagged mouth.

Link was staring at his younger self as if he were the strangest thing to wake up to, but he knew one thing. WOLF barged into _his_ room at who knows when with his little miniature side tied on ONE piece of rope. How was all this possible? What'd he do yesterday?

The Hero of Twilight attempted to remember all he did yesterday. The only thing that came to mind was when Marth rudely swatted the plate of food Peach made for him towards him. The next thing he knew was that he had transformed into a wolf and started to gulp down the monster—er…food. Everything after that was a blank.

Wolf slowly walked over to Link, who was still over at the corner thinking about what he did yesterday, and he sat down carefully so as not to scare the boy. Link was too brain scarred to care, although he _did_ take notice in the…um…Wolf.

"Look Linky," Wolf said, patting the terrified hero on the back, "it'll be alright."

However, it _wasn't_ 'alright'. It was VERY NOT 'alright'. Poor Link's heart was probably pounding like mad and going to explode any moment. Oh Farore, save him now!

"Are you okay, Linky boy?" The expression on Wolf's face could be compared to Dark Link when he sees Ganon's door to his room _slightly_ ajar. It was _not_ a good sight. Nothing good happens when Dark enters the King of Darkness's room. Believe us.

The Hero of Twilight could have squeaked, but he stayed quiet. It was in his nature. The only sound to be heard was grunts from Toon Link up on the ceiling.

Wolf had that "wolf grin" on his face and the next thing Link knew, he was in a "wolf" hug with Wolf. Puns not intended.

Toon Link's big cat-like eyes went wide and he struggled in the ropes. His tiny legs were still kicking wildly in the air.

Big Link was mentally dying on the inside, no matter how twitchy he looked on the outside.

"TOONY! LET'S GET SOMETHING TO EAT!!" The hero of Twilight thanked the goddesses for whoever was smart enough to save them. The door opened to reveal a peppy Pit and a laid back Ike, leaning on the wall on the opposite side of the hall.

"MFFFTH HWEEEEE!!" Toon Link practically screamed from his gagged mouth.

Ike raised a brow. "Someone want to explain this?"

"It's not the time for questions, I'll go save Toony." Pit said as he made his way to the dangerously thin piece of rope. With the skills of an um…angel, he cut the rope with his bow and saved poor little Toon Link. Apparently, no one noticed that little dark corner with Wolf and Link.

After Ike and Pit untied Toon Link, they proceeded to pull out the gag.

"There, better?" Asked Pit, who seemed extremely worried for his little friend.

Toon Link took several deep breaths. Either he wasn't able to breathe, or he's hyperventilating, we'll never know. It took a while, but finally he was able to talk.

"HELPMEYOUGOTTASAVEBIGLINK!!" Toony screamed it so quickly, it sounded like he babbled something incoherent.

"Calm down, Toony. Where is he?" Pit asked, staying as calm as he usually is. Which is pretty calm.

"And speak slower, you're not going to die or something." Ike grumbled, obviously still a bit sleepy. Heck, wouldn't you be sleepy if you have to stay up almost the whole night hoping you won't end up in awkward places the next morning?

"BACKINOURROOMWITHWOLF. HETIEDMEUPONTHECEILING, PLEASEYOUGOTTAHELPHIM!!" Toony took a few deep breaths. "I'm okay now."

"Now say that again a bit slower, please?" Ike yawned. Now that he thought about it, why can't he just pick up Pit and just carry him (against the angel's will, of course) to breakfast and just leave the midget alone?

Damn caring angel.

"Big Link," Toony started, more slowly. "is still in our room with a maniac wolf. Please save him."

Ike seemed surprised. That seemed pretty calm.

"OR I'LL CRY." Toony looked at the blue haired man with big teary blue eyes.

"Poor little boy." Pit gave Toon Link a pat on the head.

"…" Ike wasn't amused. He just wanted a nice breakfast, dammit! Is that too hard to ask?!

Now he just wants Toon Link to stop staring at him with those big cat eyes. Geez, talk about creepy…

"Save him, please?" Whined the twelve year old as he tugged on Ike's cape.

"If you let go of my cape." Ike grumbled.

"(Sniff) O-okay." Toon Link said sadly, letting go of the clothing. "Will you go save him now?"

Ike pondered on that. "Nah, let's go Pit." He grabbed Pit and carried the angel away like a book. "To breakfast we go."

"B-But Ike! You're leaving Toon Link, a 12 year old boy, a weak defenseless boy in his time of need?!" Pit practically screamed at the blue haired man. He struggled, hoping Ike would loosen his grip so he could run off and save Toon Link.

Toon Link started to wail. Very loudly. The halls echoed his cries, and almost everyone heard him. Poor boy.

"Ike! He's practically screaming for help! You're so heartless!"

"Food first." Ike sighed loudly. He was getting a headache…Maybe breakfast would help if he stayed _away_ from Peach's cooking.

Pit grumbled softly to himself about Ike. Darn hungry Ike and his heartlessness!

* * *

"What on _earth_ is that loud noise?!" Marth yelled, throwing his book on the floor to cover his ears.

"I think that's Toon Link." Zelda answered, walking around almost happily around the kitchen.

Marth sighed and put his feet up on the breakfast table. "Make him STOP."

Peach had a skillet (still hot and oily) in her hand. "Marth, remove your legs from the table. NOW!" From the look of her face, she was _not_ happy.

The prince was a smart boy. He looked at the skillet, with bacon still frying on it, and back at the Princess of the Mushroom kingdom. Then vice versa. He slowly put his legs down, not taking his eyes off the dangerous hot skillet.

"Where's Roy?" Zelda asked, putting down a plate of French toast on the table. "I thought he was supposed to be with you for three days?"

"Why do you think my leg's aren't touching the ground?" Marth asked, looking at his nails as if they were the most interesting things in the world.

The Princesses looked down under the table. Roy was just sitting on a tiny stool, being Marth's footstool. "Um…hey ladies. Pass the eggs down here, please." Roy waved, giving them a strange grin.

Peach gasped and faced Marth. "Marth! That is…child labor!! It's inhuman! You're cruel! No breakfast for you!" She thwacked the prince with her tennis racket that somehow got in her hands.

"Okay, okay fine. Roy, sit over there." Marth pointed to the chair next to him.

"Yay!" Cheered the red head as he made his way to a chair. "Eggs please!"

Zelda served the boy his eggs. After the princesses left (Peach was giving Marth glares), Marth put his legs on Roy's lap. "You're still being my leg rest."

"(Munch, chew) I don't mind now. (Munch)" Roy answered, leaving toast bits on Marth's new and polished boots.

"Whatever…you're cleaning up my boots anyways…" Marth yawned as he began chewing on his breakfast. Wow. He's _such_ a prince, isn't he?

"Morning peeps." Ike said lazily as he walked in with Pit who was still being carried like a book. "How's breakfast?"

"You're actually early." Marth answered nonchalantly.

"I love eggs!" Roy chirped up randomly.

Pit was about to say something about ditching Toon Link, but when Roy said something about eggs, the angel went through a change of heart. "Eggs? I love eggs too!" He squirmed his way out of Ike's arms (how strange sounding is that?) and made his way to a seat. "Eggs please!!"

"Idiots all say the same thing…" Samus rolled her eyes as she placed some bacon on the table.

Roy and Pit looked at each other. They exchanged clueless looks and resumed eating their eggs. "Mmmm…eggs." They both chorused.

Ike did a facepalm while Marth pretended nothing happened. Things are better when you pretend that nothing happens.

"Uh…why did you cook fried chicken for breakfast?" Samus asked, looking incredulously at the giant plate of chicken in Peach's hands. "Shouldn't you save that for lunch…?"

Peach giggled. "Oh _Samus_!" She gave Samus that "oh _right_" look and walked off rolling her eyes. "Chicken not for breakfast! Oh Samus, you're so silly! Hehe."

"…" Samus just stared. WHY ARE PRINCESSES SO WEIRD?! Samus never understood that and perhaps she never will…

"Don't worry Samus, I don't understand Peach either." Mario said, putting his signature red plumbers hat on his head. "I just save her." He went to his seat after giving her a pat on the back.

"…" The space bounty hunter made a note to stay away from princesses AND plumbers.

Well, everyone was making their way to their designated chairs. Yes, they go by seating charts (they don't want what happened LAST time to happen over again). At least the chairs are designed for them? Umm…let's see, Pit's chair gets a space for his wings! Ness's chair makes him feel taller, and Peach's chair was taken from her castle! Marth's chair is shiny and princely! Roy gets to sit on a tall stool next to him! (Roy's not originally from the seating chart.)

"Poyo…" Kirby felt bad for eating their three week supply (from last chapter), but once he saw dessert, all bad feelings just left him like his three-second attention span. It's great to be a pink ball that eats and sleeps, huh?

"Meta Knight, please pass the pepper." Peach said politely.

The space warrior passed the pepper, then received it back a few moments later. Peach wanted the bottle to be "in it's exact place for next time" or something.

"Meta Knight, pass the damn pepper." Ganon growled. "My eggs aren't going to put pepper on themselves."

"Get it yourself, you impolite beast." Meta Knight answered, finishing his bread.

"What did you just say? I just told you to pass the damn pepper!" Barked the King of Darkness from across the table.

"Well, you _are_ a beast." Sheik pointed out.

"Hey, I thought you were Zelda!" Roy went wide-eyed and pointed to the Sheikah.

"Relax, Zelda's here. She just wanted me to eat."

"You know, that made no sense."

"_Just give me the damn pepper!!_" Ganondorf did NOT look happy.

"Catch." Mario threw the bottle to the King of Darkness.

It hit Ganon in the face and broke into many little pieces. The pepper all piled up on Ganon's eggs, making it look like his eggs are experiencing black and white dandruff problems. Great.

Ganon growled at Mario and gave him the "YOU. DIE. TODAY." kind of look.

Mario didn't look like a happy camper after that. "I-I think I'm done with breakfast…will you excuse me…"

"But Mario, you barely ate your bread!" Peach exclaimed. "Was my cooking…_BAD_?"

"N-no Peach! I'm just not in an eating mood right now! I-I'll eat your specially prepared lunch later, okay?" Mario pushed his chair in and ran off to who-knows-where.

Just before Peach could get out of her seat, Link barged in with his green Triforce jammies. "HELP!!"

"OH MY GOD, LINK TALKS!!" Peach squealed like a fangirl. "YAY!"

"YES I TALK! NOW SAVE MEEEE!!" Link yelled as loud as a boy that never usually talks could yell. "WOLF IS INSANE!!"

"Yeah, we already know that." Fox said, sipping his tea as if there was nothing more important than tea sipping.

Falco finished his oatmeal (don't ask). "Where were you guys before Link barged in and said he was insane?"

"Since when did Fox drink tea?" Samus muttered quietly to Snake (who somehow managed to squirm his way next to her).

Snake shrugged. Hey, even if he _did_ enjoy spying on people through the little air holes in his box doesn't mean that he knows everything. And why would he want to know if the stupid mammal drank tea?!

"I have a headache…" Marth murmured as Link went on with the story of what happened that morning.

"You want me to help you with that?" Roy asked. "Headaches aren't good, you know."

"Yes Roy, I know headaches aren't good." The prince replied. "Now finish your eggs so we can leave."

"Ooh, _alone_ time. Roy likes."

"…" Marth briefly wondered why Roy existed. Then again, he wondered why HE existed. Why did Brawl Mansion exist, now that he thought about it. WHAT'S THE MEANING OF LIFE?

The red head shoved the rest of his plate o' eggs in his mouth, swallowed, and finished his orange juice. Why? Because OJ is the best thing out there, I guess. (No…actually, we hate OJ, but I guess Roy loves not medieval OJ!)

"Let's go!" Roy announced, punching his fist in the air.

"Okay." Marth walked off with his red head partner following after him.

* * *

Wolf felt accomplished.

Perhaps that smexxy wolf would like him after all!

Oh Wolf, you player, you.

Yup. Needless to say, Wolf is feeling _very_ happy.

He went to eat breakfast fashionably late. When he opened the door, he heard Link talk about his morning and—oh hey! Are those green Triforce jammies? Sweet!

He made his way to his seat and grabbed some meat. Mmmm, everyone loves meat!

Just then, the door opened, revealing…

"Oh my gosh, Toony! You're alright!!" Pit gasped, running to the tiny blond like he was the only thing on earth.

"Yes. I'm alive. No thanks to Ike." The blond was twitching. "I had to save Link myself."

Everyone faced Big Link (except Wolf), who was nodding vigorously.

"Toon Link is a hero!" Peach giggled. No one wanted to know why she giggled.

Really.

"Ike, I love you." Pit random said.

Everyone faced Pit and Ike (who looked really freaked out).

"R-really?" Ike was choking on his coffee. (Yes, he's one of those "responsible" people who can take caffeine…unlike ZELDA. Coffee was almost banned thanks to her.)

"No, silly! I just wanted to find out what happens when I say something random out of the blue! Sonic told me to do it!" Pit replied with an innocent smile. You could _see_ the stars and sparklies by his face.

Of course, Ike never knew if that was sarcasm or not…but he knew one thing. Sonic's going DOWN. PHEAR RAGNELL, MORTALZ!!

Peach sighed sadly. No Yaoi for her today…

"Zelda…what's that in your hands?" Toon Link asked, pointing to the giant cup of liquid (which he hopes is NOT coffee) in the princess's clutches.

Luigi, Ness, Lucas, Pikachu, Lucario, Meta Knight, and all the smart ones hid under the table praying it wasn't coffee.

Please not coffee. Please not coffee. Please not coffee. Please not—

"It's coffee, dear." Zelda answered with a smile.

"Yeah, that's all I needed to know." Toon Link ran out of the room screaming, "ZELDA HAS THE CAFFEINE!!"

The smart ones, as we pointed out before, ran for the door right after Toon Link. "RUN!!" Even the assist trophies passing by heard them and ran for it.

The only ones left were Peach, Ike, Pit, Zelda, Sheik (he forever stays by Zelda's side…poor boy), Link, and Wolf. Oh wait, Link is running out the window…in his jammies. Oh boy.

"Okay then…" Pit got off his seat. "Oh Ike, look at the time. LET'SGETOUTOFHERE. KTHXBAI." He pushed the elder out the door.

"My chicken…" Grumbled Ike sadly.

"What's with everyone?" Zelda asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"I wouldn't drink that if I were you." Sheik said, snatching the cup away.

Zelda made grabby hands for the coffee. "And why not? I have my rights!"

Peach giggled. "I'll be in the kitchen."

She was almost (I repeat, _almost_) running out of the room. Only leaving Zelda with Sheik…and with that suspicious looking box by the door.

"Olimar, get out of my box!" Hissed Snake.

"No! I don't want to die!" The other replied, looking out through the air holes of Snake's box.

"Did Zelda drink it yet?" The mercenary looked out the air holes himself.

"Now she did. RUN!!" Sheik used his Deku nut and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Olimar and his Pikmin were in the corner of Snake's box…cowering in the corner. Smart.

"BE A MAN! IT'S WAR!" Snake slapped the glass dome around the space man's head.

"I'LL HIDE HERE, KTHXBAI." Olimar yelled.

"WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU?!" Snake bellowed back. "And…is that my box being BURNED?!"

"Sorry, that was my Pikmin…"

Snake ran to his precious box and held it. "MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN!!"

"Sorry…"

"NOOOOOOOO!! BOXY!! AND YOU WERE SO YOUNG!"

"…Um…get over it. It's just a box."

Snake looked at the remains of the box. "I remember the good times we had…"

"Hey, if you're going to go on flashbacks, can you do that after we survive?!" Olimar ran off with his little group of Pikmin tumbling after him.

"Huh?" Snake looked to see Zelda going insane.

"…Oh box…it looks like I'm coming with you to box heaven…"

* * *

Meanwhile, in a giant green grassy field, a certain Marth and Roy were standing by a well.

Marth peered up from his book and saw Roy smiling a lopsided grin at the prince. Marth covered his view of Roy with his book.

After a few moments of feeling Roy's stare burn into his book (and face), Marth put down his reading material and sighed. "So…Roy…" He started, looking at the red head.

"Yes, Marth?" Roy still had that lopsided grin plastered on his face.

"First, stop grinning at me like that."

The red head gave Marth a confused look, but stopped grinning anyways.

"Okay, then tell me…"

"Yes?"

The prince looked at Roy. "If you like me that much, prove it." He looked over at the stone well. "Drown yourself in that well."

"Okay!" Roy replied cheerfully, running his way to the well. Without a thought he jumped down and landed with a splash.

Marth walked slowly to the well and peered down. "You dead yet?"

"No. Not yet." Roy called back.

A few minutes later, the Altean prince called down yet again. "Are you drowning?"

No reply.

Marth waited a few more moment and then his princely conscious hit him. What…what if he killed Roy? He's a prince for crying out loud! He can't let his subjects (no matter how idiotic) die like this! The reporters would be all up his boots and stuff!

"U-Uh…Roy…you can come up now. Don't die!"

He didn't receive any reply but a bunch of bubbles.

"ROY?! OH MY GOD. DON'T DIE!!" Marth practically screamed down the well.

Moments later the red head appeared above the water. "(Cough, cough) Oh…Hi Marth!! (cough) The water's just fine here!"

"…" Marth blinked and stared at Roy for a long time. He stared for a _very_ long time. Finally: "You're not dead…?"

"Nope. I can't die that easily. Now please pull me up." Roy raised his arms up, making grabby hands towards the prince.

Marth quickly pulled up the red head. "I probably shouldn't have tried to kill you…" He mumbled.

"I'm cold."

"Get a jacket."

"I climbed in your room through a window. You think I spent time packing my things? I don't own a jacket in the first place anyways, silly."

"…" Marth now wondered why he was human. Roy should have just drowned in there, or he could just _rot_ in a sack.

Roy snuggled himself in Marth's cape. "Warm."

There goes his fresh, and brand new cape…Damn Roy.

Not that the red head could help it. Be nice to him, Marth thought to himself.

"Oh yuck! Your cape just squished a bug! It's splattered all over your cape!" Roy made a disgusted face.

Screw that. The red head dies tonight. Secretly.

* * *

"Through thick and thin, the box had lived such a good three weeks life." Mario went on with the long and boring speech. Oh god, someone just punch him already.

Snake sobbed (in a manly fashion) on the chair next to a wooden coffin. Captain Falcon gave Snake a pat on the back sympathetically. "It'll be alright, man. You'll live through it."

"Oh box…I can't imagine life without you…" The mercenary said.

Samus sighed and tapped her fingers impatiently on her knees. She had a date with space pirates tonight, there's no time for this useless…can it even been called a funeral?

Ike yawned. "Pathetic…" He grumbled before falling asleep in his chair. Damn, this chair feels really comfortable…

Pit was already snoring on Ike's shoulder, and yes people, he was drooling on Ike's shoulder!

Even Jigglypuff couldn't blame them for snoring through this. It was horribly boring. Oh god, someone save them. It was a funeral for a BOX for crying out loud! A BOX!

"You may approach the coffin for one last time before we bury it." Mario announced, then murmur softly about burning the coffin and hoping this would never happen again.

His reply was a series of snores from Ike.

Snake walked up to the coffin and sobbed uncontrollably, but in all in a manly fashion. Just because he's Snake and he's special like that.

Link and Toon Link were recording it with their cap-cam. Yes, they had Samus install it in their ordinary green caps. They linked it to ROB's system so they can upload it on like…Youtube or something later. Why else do they wear those caps?

The two yawned, but exchanged mischievous glances to each other. Big Link was actually doing this because he needed to write stuff in his Blog. Maybe finally updating the blog would be good for his health…or something.

After the funeral went by (it felt quite like torture, thanks), Samus looked around and then finally decided to crack the question to Link and Toon Link. "Where's Zelda?"

"Oh her? She's still a bit…_drunk—_(Toon Link found it hard to find a word for it)—from her 'episode' this morning, she's in her room resting."

Samus blinked and stared at the 12 year old. "That works for me." She shrugged and said monotonously.

"This is just plain annoying." A really pissed off looking Lucario grumbled to himself on a seat in the corner of the room.

"Jiggly!!" Jigglypuff agreed and flew out the window.

"Poyo…" Kirby was chewing on an apple in his seat. Heck, that was the only reason why he's there!

"Zzz…no…the dog goes UNDER the rock…" Pit murmured in his sleep.

"What kind of dream is _that_?" Luigi asked Ness who shrugged in reply.

"My poor box…" Snake sobbed.

Mario sighed. "Are we done?" He had a bored look in his face as he watched everyone doze off.

"Okay, I'll live through it. I'm over it anyways." The mercenary replied nonchalantly.

"…So this funeral was for nothing?!" Everyone (who was awake) chorused. "SNAKE!!"

"Uh…I'm running, bye." Snake slipped off as fast as he could out of the room.

Toony looked at Big Link. "Well, at least we got a video of Snake crying."

"In a manly fashion." Corrected the bigger Link.

"Yeah. In a manly fashion, whatever you say. It's probably eye drops anyways." Toony hopped on his seat. "Let's get R.O.B. now!"

Link nodded and followed his smaller self to the robot.

* * *

"Link, please pass the basket of bread." Zelda said as calmly as a princess can.

"You're feeling better now, Princess Zelda?" Toon Link asked, happily as his older self passed the bread silently.

"Yes, quite. What happened today?"

"Oh you know, same old things." The Wind Waker replied, dunking his bead in his soup very…violently.

Zelda smiled. "I see."

Samus picked at her salad. "Yes. Same old, same old…"

"How was the space pirate hunt?" Peach asked, ignoring the fact that Samus was _not_ enjoying her specially made salad. "I'm sure you had a terrific time."

The blonde muttered something like, "It was way better than this hellhole," under her breath.

"What was that?" The princess of the Mushroom Kingdom questioned almost _too_ happily.

"Nothing. I love the salad." Samus replied quickly, poking at a piece of lettuce.

"Oh today was fun for me, I almost d—" Roy was cut off by Marth, who stuffed a piece of bread in the red head's mouth.

"He almost drew a picture of me." Marth cut in. "Now eat your bread, dear."

"You sound like a mom!" Toon Link exclaimed, pointing rudely at the bluenette (and apparently, bluenette isn't a word).

Marth gave Toon Link a look. "Oh thanks." He replied sarcastically. "Thanks a lot."

"No problem." Toon Link resumed dunking his bread in his soup. Well, the remains of his soup since the dunking made him spill…a lot. After all, he's just a 12 year old.

"Mmm…Bread." Roy's muffled voice came through even though he had bread in his mouth.

Pit poked at his soup. "There's nothing in here…it's just…liquid…" He messed around with the spoon a bit.

"You have something against that?" Peach looked strictly at the angel. "Kids these days!"

"I'm sorry ma'am…" Pit squeaked. He had experience with scary ladies since yesterday. PEACH DRUGS YOUR FOOD, FOR PALUTENA'S SAKE!!

"You should at least added potatoes or something…" Ike looked plainly at his soup. "Oh well, at least it's food."

Peach looked heartbroken. "You make it sound like my cooking is horrible. After all those hours of cooking just for you all."

"Don't cry Peach, I like your cooking…" One of the Ice Climbers chirped.

"Thank you…you're so kind." The princess wiped her eyes with a pink handkerchief.

Ike twitched a bit and looked back at his meal. Might as well eat it…

Mario sighed. "Now you all know how I feel."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Peach asked innocently.

"They can't enjoy such a great meal with you everyday, Peach. I feel so bad for them." Mario said, adjusting his plumber's cap.

"Awww…Mario…"

At this, Toon Link and the other younger Brawlers made faces at the table earning glares and snickers from the older brawlers.

* * *

"Link and I are going to bed then!!" Toon Link piped up as dinner came to an end.

"Hey, you should like…lock the door so Wolf doesn't get in." Ike pointed out.

Pit grinned. "Hey, let's sleep over at Link's room! That way, we get beds _and_ Link gets protected from Wolf!"

"You're kidding right?" Ike questioned the angel in an almost incredulous manner.

"No…why?"

"You expect me to sleep with…a dog and a 12 year old?"

"Do you have something against Toon Link, Ike?" Pit raised a brow and put his hands on his hips. Wow, that sounds very…wife-like.

"No. I'm just wondering why you're so attached to a 12 year old. What are you? A pedophile?"

"What are you? A jealous husband?" Fox snickered as he and Falco walked by the two.

"NO! And expect great pain later when I face you in Brawl!" Ike called out to the fox.

Pit sighed. "So you _don't_ want to sleep on a bed for once?"

"We slept on a bed last night. My room is good enough."

"You didn't sleep. The only time you were actually sleeping was when you were at Snake's box's funeral!"

Toon Link and Link already left, just saying. They left Ike and Pit a bit after the angel asked if Ike had something against Toon Link. They didn't really care, so…uh…yeah, Ike and Pit were the last ones to go to bed that night.

* * *

"Good night, Roy." Marth said for the tenth time that night. He pulled a pillow over his princely head to block out the noise.

"—and then _that_ house got burned to pieces. So then I—" Roy continued on.

"GOOD NIGHT, ROY!" Marth threw a pillow at the red head's face.

Silence.

"Better." Marth covered his head again and began to fall asleep.

"Does that mean I can sleep in the same bed as you?"

"…" Marth really wanted Roy to drown in that well now…for real this time.

"Yay! No reply means yes!"

* * *

It's not as long as I thought it would be. -sobs-

Someone kill me. 13 pages. I wanted to go to 20, but I ran out of ideas. XP

So enjoy this long update. Yeah, it's not 50 things. I'll write it after I'm done with this giant crack baby. Believe me. Just enjoy this story while it lasts, kids. I worked for like, 6 hours. Whatever.

Oh yeah. I love awkwardzombie. XDDDDD


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